We need stressful days in order to be happy. We need days when we get zero sleep and are working tirelessly on a deadline. Because if we didn’t, the lazy days wouldn’t feel good. It’s no fun doing nothing. I don’t know how rich people can fill their days with pointless appointments and call it a fulfilling life. We need to always be working towards something in order to feel useful and have a sense of purpose. And then those days off when you just feel so good. We often say that we’d like a very long vacation but most of us would probably get very bored after a week.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Philippians 4:6 (ESV)
Have you noticed there’s a distinct difference between experiencing anxiety and simply being anxious? Yes, one describes the other (in theory), but when we say we’re anxious about something, that usually means there’s a certain situation causing us to be anxious. Maybe your search for a new, better job has been less-than-fruitful or worrying how you’re going to pay that speeding ticket is causing your breathing to become irregular. That’s being anxious. But dealing with anxiety, that’s more of a daily, all-encompassing thing, isn’t it?
Anxiety, in the simplest explanation I’ve found, is a manifestation of obsession and worry. We obsess about our life, wondering if every thing is going to work out or worry that this good thing we have will go bad. We find ourselves full of this bristling energy because we’ve become obsessed with making sure everything we touch goes the way it should, and then when it does, we worry it will one day go wrong. It’s a vicious circle and one you can feel trapped in all by yourself—but it doesn’t have to be that way.
When we become obsessed and worry about things we may or may not control, that means we aren’t trusting God with the ins and outs of our lives. Because we so badly want everything to go just the way we desire, we forget that He’s promised time and time again (2 Samuel 22:3-4, Psalm 4:8, Psalm 5:11, Proverbs 2:7-9, Isaiah 54:17) to look after us and to give us only what we can handle. So for us to continuously obsess about our life to the point that the worry consumes us and eats at our mental and emotional well-being, it means that we’ve forgone placing our trust and confidence in Him in exchange for trying to control these things for ourselves. We bypass the warm protection of the Creator for a miniscule chance at controlling our own happiness, when He’s waiting to ease every bit of worry, obsession, and anxiety we have.
Realistically, it’s not an easy thing to surrender control of our lives to God. As parts of the sin-filled human race, we are predestined to want to accomplish and build things for ourselves. We want that control. We want the credit of success. But what happens when that control, when that obsession overtakes us and rids us of any sort of calming notion we once had? We become riddled with anxiety and worry. How do we fix it? We simply and elegantly make the choice to place everything we are into trusting Him. It is by no means an easy task; it takes work and it takes dedication to His ways, but if we’re willing to trust Him with every facet of our lives, that anxiety, that worry will be alleviated.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful? No longer would you have to deal with the results of anxiety attacks and vicious ulcers. You could find your soul in a place of rest and relaxation and from there you could actually start to enjoy your life exactly for what it is. No more would you find yourself examining and reexamining a situation from every possible angle in hopes of finding an answer, but you could simply say, “It is in His hands and He always knows what’s best for me.” That feeling and mindset alone would be worth the difficulties that come with letting go. But you can do it. I have 10000% faith that you can.
Start with a prayer and allow God to lead you from there. Show Him that you’re willing to give full control of your life and your trust to Him. In return, you will be granted the most vivid feeling of serenity you’ve ever felt.
That change can start today if you’re willing. Let go of that anxiety and worry that plagues you. He’s looking out for you and He always will.
Trust Him to do His job.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)
~ Cory Copeland
Do we ever stop to consider just how unhealthy so much of what we eat every day is? Do we think about how, when we remark at a restaurant as to how delicious everything tastes, the cuisine is likely aided by several generous teaspoons of oil in every dish? Even the things we usually think of as being “generally pretty okay for you,” when examined for their cold, hard nutrition facts, are actually rather terrifying. Do you like cranberry juice? Who doesn’t? If I had to put cranberry juice into a category of “decent food” or “bad food,” I would think it decent. Why? It’s a fruit. It’s juice. It has vitamins. It seems like the kind of thing that you should drink. Do you know how much sugar is in most commercial brands of cranberry juice? As much as a can of Coke. You should have seen my face in the grocery store. I think I actually cried for a minute.
But this is the reality of so many of the prepared foods we eat every day.So much of our daily diets are filled with high fructose corn syrup, saturated fats, partially hydrogenated oils, artificial sweeteners and flavorings, and general empty calories. Our concept of “junk food” really only encompasses the tippy-top of the bad things we shouldn’t really be eating, while a huge portion of the stuff we consider “normal” can fall under the same unhealthy bracket, if only to a slightly lesser degree.
Now that I am trying to make consciously good decisions about where and what I buy — as well as keeping track of everything I’m eating every day — the world seems a giant game of Minesweeper, liberally littered with foods and drinks meant to throw me off the course. Even our best friend alcohol is one of the biggest culprits. A glass of wine with dinner? Say hello to tons of unnecessary calories. There often seems to be no food, past the fresh fruits and veggies whose contents you are fully aware of and of which you can eat as many as you want, that is totally safe. Everything seems out to get you. Everything needs to be paid attention to, done in moderation, and taken account of. And while I am not sure what the future holds for my journey down the path of eating well, I can say without a doubt that it will be filled with learning and keeping an open mind for ways to live a more balanced life.
Jesus is silent on Saturday. The women have anointed his body and placed it in Joseph’s tomb. The cadaver of Christ is as mute as the stone which guards it. He spoke much on Friday. He will liberate the slaves of death on Sunday. But on Saturday, Jesus is silent.
So is God. He made himself heard on Friday. He tore the curtains of the temple, opened the graves of the dead, rocked the earth, blocked the sun of the sky, and sacrificed the Son of Heaven. Earth heard much of God on Friday.
Nothing on Saturday. Jesus is silent. God is silent. Saturday is silent.
Easter weekend discussions tend to skip Saturday. Friday and Sunday get the press. The crucifixion and resurrection command our thoughts. But don’t ignore Saturday. You have them, too.
Silent Saturdays. The day between the struggle and the solution; the question and the answer; the offered prayer and the answer thereof.
Saturday’s silence torments us. Is God angry? Did I disappoint him? God knows Jesus is in the tomb, why doesn’t He do something? Or, in your case God knows your career is in the tank, your finances are in the pit, your marriage is in a mess. Why doesn’t He act? What are you supposed to do until He does?
You do what Jesus did. Lie still. Stay silent. Trust God. Jesus died with this conviction: “You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay” (Acts 2:27 NIV).
Jesus knew God would not leave him alone in the grave. You need to know, God will not leave you alone with your struggles. His silence is not his absence, inactivity is never apathy. Saturdays have their purpose. They let us feel the full force of God’s strength. Had God raised Jesus fifteen minutes after the death of His son, would we have appreciated the act? Were He to solve your problems the second they appear, would you appreciate His strength?
For His reasons, God inserts a Saturday between our Fridays and Sundays. If today is one for you, be patient. As one who endured the silent Saturday wrote: ”Be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord” (James 5:7 NKJV).
~ Max Lucado
I was haunted these days by this question.I began to wonder on the essence of prayer and why it is we pray in the first place. As Christians who strive to abide in the ways of Christ, we appreciate that our lives and their happenings are at the mercy of God’s will, we can take heart to know that nothing that happens in our lives is a surprise to God, nor outside His reach.
Everything that takes place, even as the result of our own choices and free will, are not outside His realm of divine will. As our lives progress, His plan is what shapes us into who we are called to be.
So if our lives are at the gracious mercy of His will, do our prayers of hopeful requests and fervent accolades do any good? What is the basis for our continually seeking God’s face if His will wins out every time, regardless? Is prayer of any practical use—even the times of meaningful worship and praise—when our God already knows every thought and emotion we have about Him before they even pass through us?
If this is indeed true, it would seem that God doesn’t actually need our prayers. He is in control today and always. And though we ask for this or pray for that, He knows what’s best for us and our lives, and He provides accordingly.
And yet, the very creation of our existence speaks to more.
Just like every other living creation, we were made to praise and worship our God. We were built to offer prayer and supplication to the One who breathed life into our bones. Except only humans were given the choice to forgo our charge of lifting God up through worship. We were given the gift of free will, and with it, the ability to choose for ourselves whether we want to do that which we were created to. That measure of provided freedom leads us to the realization that our prayers aren’t a forgone conclusion, but a direct choice each of us gets to make.
When we submit our prayers and conversations to Him, we are choosing to worship Him—to magnify Him in ways no other creature can.
We have the freedom of will to forgo a time of communion with Him, so when we willfully bend our hearts in prayer, we are offering the greatest tribute our feeble lives can muster. We are choosing to spend time with Him. And as complicated as we can make our relationship with Him, our ability to consciously decide to worship Him is the very reason our prayers are held in such high regard.
Our prayers may be ripe with requests or for divine favor, but at their absolute heart, we find they are beautiful conversations with a kind and loving Father who actually wants to converse with us. We may be lost and hurting, seeking direction or inspiration, or we may simply be aching to offer Him our praise, but through it all, prayer is a choice that honors God because it says we love and submit ourselves to Him.
Prayer isn’t something God needs—as if it’s a tool or a method to enact a desired response. But it is something God wants—an open invitation to grow close to our heavenly Father.
I have a lot of friends that are not in a relationship & their single status renders them unhappy.They constantly feel lonely and pitiful and incomplete.
First of all, don’t get me wrong — relationships are wonderful. Having someone to share yourself with romantically is a beautiful thing and it can bring a lot of happiness to your life. But that doesn’t mean that the alternative — being single — has to be an unhappy experience.I would go as far as saying that if you want to be in a healthy, happy relationship, you have to be single and happy.
A mentor of mine once told me, “No one can make you happy. Someone can make you happier. But no one can make you happy.” You have to learn how to be single and happy first. At the end of the day, think about it: if you can’t make yourself happy, how much happiness can you authentically give to someone else?
~ Kovie Biakolo
Friends are not forever.
The people you grew up with are not going to universally be there at every milestone after college. They’re not going to be there, and many of them aren’t going to care. And though it’s hard to accept at first that you can go from being with someone every day after school to never hearing from them until someone else mentions their pending nuptials on Facebook, it’s for the best to remember that they don’t really matter. We only have room for so many real friends in life, and if some are so fair-weather as to jump ship the second you move one county away, you didn’t need them anyway.
Bar Refaeli and DIET
I don’t feel the need to be super skinny, but being in shape is important. But even if I wasn’t in this industry I would still want to look after myself and be healthy and keep my body in good condition.
I always want to look my best on a shoot, or for a fashion show so I do an extra couple of sit-ups the night before and I drink hot water with lemon to get my metabolism kick-started in the morning and to cleanse my system, but I don’t do anything crazy.
There’s nothing worse than forcing yourself to spend hours in the gym when you don’t enjoy it, so I do all sorts of things to work out because I get bored easily.I don’t diet and I don’t have an eating plan, but I like to eat healthily. I don’t deny myself anything and there’s nothing I wouldn’t eat. I like desserts – I like food full-stop, but I exercise and I’m young, so everything keeps in check.
I guess every girl has days where she feels good and days where she feels she could lose a couple of pounds, and it’s the same for me, I’m generally in pretty good shape, but if I have a major shoot or fashion show coming up and I want to look my best, then I’ll spend a little extra time working out or I’ll stick to eating salads and chicken for a few days. I would never go on some crazy fad diet or eat anything weird to get thinner – it’s just not good for your body.
The first year. Holy moly.
No one told me that this year would be one of the hardest years of my life.
Ok, great. Now let’s get back to planning my multi-thousand dollar wedding.
We were way too busy attending showers, opening gifts and registering for the waffle maker to even care that this year was going to be tough. And there was the huge decision between wood or Chiavari chairs for the ceremony. And was it improper to request that children not come to the wedding?
We had dated for 3 years and I knew this guy was the guy who would rock my world. He had it all; he was a Jesus follower, he was great on the eyes, he was smart and he made me laugh about a hundred times a day. We were seriously in love and seriously planning the most beautiful wedding I have ever been to.
We went to the Dominican Republic, on a honeymoon you only see in the magazines, kayaked in the ocean, made love, drank the best coffee ever, came home and life began.
Or did it?
Actually my life had begun 23 years ago, in a Baptist home with 2 sisters my younger. My life in the city with malls and restaurants and in a home where we put the milk on the door in the refrigerator.
And his life had begun 26 years ago. In a Lutheran home with one older sister. In a small town with one stop light and a gas station with sprinkle donuts. In a home where they put the milk on the shelf in the refrigerator.
I played volleyball and Barbie’s and he played guitar and Super Mario Bros. I majored in Communications and he in Worship Ministry.
As if marriage is the start of it all. It’s a fallacy that life begins there and everything prior to the vows evaporates suddenly. I’m not sure why exactly; maybe we want it to be that way, or we know it’d be easier that way. Maybe because we want to be the only life our new spouse has ever known, but the truth is life begins before “I do.”
You bring your family, your norms and values, your “we’ve always done it” ways and you marry a person who just happens to have those ways too and you collide. You find yourself wondering, “Why does he do it like that?! Why does the garbage sit there in a bag by the back door? Why does he fold his underwear?”
And things he probably asked of me: Why are we having cupcakes for dinner? And why do you steal the covers every. single. night?
Crap. We will never get along. I really thought this “honeymoon phase” would last a lot longer than 2 weeks. This the 3rd time this week I’m crying because I don’t understand him. How are we going to make time for all 3 family Thanksgiving celebrations? And so the collision goes.
The beauty of the first year is that it’s the first year, and there is only one.
It’s the beginning of a new life together. It’s the start, the take-off of this new thing we call marriage. We can only learn more from here. We can choose to believe that this person we now live with had a life before us. A life that was full of ways we didn’t live, full of different experiences, and different family norms.
It’s true that there’s no single way to operate a home or family. It’s true that it doesn’t really matter where in the fridge the milk sits, or if we fold our underwear. What matters is that we live life together in love and peace. Honoring God with our marriage and not letting the little (yet seemingly so big) things get in the way.
So it’s true. The first year really is a hard year. Not very many people will tell you that, but I will, and my husband will too. When that collision happens and you find yourself wondering if you’re ever going to be able to live under one roof in peace, just wait. It’s okay. Wait for your eyes to be open to your new love and life together and wait for all of the debris to hit the pavement.
Take note of the debris – the things that you want to incorporate into your new family and household , and the things that really don’t matter. And go peacefully walking down that road we call love.
~ Lindsey Capperrune
It’s difficult to admit that you may not know how close you are with people when you are constantly surrounded by the same circle of friends. These people, through a potent combination of familiarity and convenience, can often seem far more committed and important than they are. And when you move away, and the onus on keeping things alive is on the both of you — and requires making a concerted effort to keep in touch and have things to say to one another outside of “What’s new with you?” — many of the people we assumed would be there forever can easily fall by the wayside. And that isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just how the world works. Some of us have an easier time staying close, and some of us were never really that close to begin with. But the friends who prove themselves to be worth it, friends you may not have even realized were so caring when you had the privilege of being around them all the time, will now only highlight how sad it is to be so far away.
There is something extremely comforting about knowing exactly where you fit in. You’re not famous, sure, but you have your place. You are known for certain things, have established a kind of reputation, and have a solid group to move around in. It’s hard to realize just how important it is to have an identity reinforced by (and in many ways created by) your surroundings until you no longer have it anymore. It’s like suddenly getting the script ripped from your hands and still being expected to perform — you just don’t know how things work. In your new city, you are just an anonymous face, free of purpose or background. And yes, it can be thrilling and refreshing, but it can also be a harsh reminder that you are not special. You are not different. Your force and presence is established — like everyone else’s is — with time and care, and intimately knowing your surroundings.
The world is simply made so much more wonderful when you can walk down your street and know who you are going to encounter. You know your neighbors (at least some of them), you know the people who will be at your favorite bar, you know who works at your dry-cleaners and post office and print shop and hair salon. You had an established network that cushioned you and made you feel (rightfully so) that your presence was welcome and enjoyed. Having to recreate all these ties, and get used to different faces and dispositions and conversations is feasible, but makes you long for the days when things were simple and obvious. We don’t need a Cheers, per se, but it’s nice to feel like you are an appreciated customer and not simply a wallet with a body attached to it.
So much of your old town (and the nostalgia that can overwhelm you when you think about it) isn’t even tangible. It’s a smell, a taste, the friendly din that filled a certain bar or the way the sun used to set behind one specific church on one specific hill. You catch a whiff of clove, maybe, and you suddenly remember that one coffee shop that made that spiced cider that people would drive from miles away to come drink in the winter. You hear a laugh and look around because it sounds just like your favorite waiter from that one restaurant you and your friends used to go to every Thursday night for their cheap pitchers and enormous burgers. You put your feet in sand and it feels like the sand you used to be able to walk to every night if you want to. You can recreate it, perhaps, but it will never be quite the same.
Once you conquer your surroundings, once you feel like you know every nook and cranny of what a town has to offer, there is a feeling of invincibility — even immortality. It’s often what keeps people from leaving a town to begin with (or at least delays it significantly), this feeling of familiarity that wraps around you like your favorite blanket. There is nothing to be afraid of when you know what tomorrow is going to bring, who you are going to see, and where you’re going to go. If nothing ever changes, it feels like you’re never really having to grow old. And yes, this feeling can often take a turn for the claustrophobic — and become the impetus to leave for so many — but it certainly seems appealing when your new city feels completely indifferent to your presence.
There is a certain freedom to making mistakes in your old town. You have so much history there, so much youth there, that it feels like the place where experimenting is expected. When you choose to come to a new place, though, to establish yourself as an adult with their own agenda, the pressure is on to make it count. No one wants to fall flat on their face after they proudly announced to everyone that they were leaving and actually took the leap to make it happen. Your chosen city becomes the place where Big Things have to happen, where a lot is expected of you and you have to prove your adulthood. Your old town becomes even rosier in retrospect, forever a place where you were allowed to be foolish.
Above all else, you will miss yourself. You realize how much you have changed since you’ve moved — how much the act of moving alone tends to change people — and long to relive all of the things you used to be when you were back there. You were freer, you knew your surroundings and your place in things. You hadn’t yet decided where you were going to go next. You dated people who were wrong for you with no intention of thinking long-term. You made choices that now you look back on with mild amusement (and possibly a slight cringe). And yes, you know that you are not going to be that person again, and that you don’t want to. You are happy to have moved on, geographically and emotionally, and become someone more in control of their future. But it is nice to remember that you didn’t always have things together. It’s nice to remember the person you were in the little pond, the person you were before you realized how difficult leaving might be. It’s nice to love who that person was, even if they’ve changed for the better.
